Eina

They are so hard to find now a days.

I’m so tired. I feel like I have nothing left. Drained. Everything is becoming a waste of time. -_-;

sometimes. I feel like I shouldn’t or I wasn’t built to be in a relationship. Maybe I’m just not good enough. Or I’m never satisfied. Or I just haven’t met the naturally right guy yet?

I don’t know. I’m still young and stupid. But I can’t wait to feel genuinely happy

I don’t even want a manfriend to be honest. I just want a companion. Someone dependable, someone I can talk to about anything, laugh with, cry with, and cuddle and has time for me and makes me a priority. I want to feel special. I want little thoughtful useless crap gifts. I want long rambling letters about nothing. I want conversations that go on to the early morning and you don’t even realize the sun is rising. I want a relationship that’s like a good book that keep me turning the pages. I want to text with someone until my hands and arms give in. I want to feel an urge to smile and jump just by seeing them. I want to be seen by them, I want to be noticed. I want to feel loved and cared for and like.. Considered?! Blaaaahhhh…

Lonely ass. Suck it up.

WAY TO FUCKN GROW UP! Stupid irresponsible dumbass bitch. IM SO TIRED OF YOU IDIOT!!!!!

Shows how much our talks mean to you.

So blessed so complete, I am greeted with “everything’s falling into place with you, you’re so fortunate” so amazing. Life is moving on fast and I’m barely catching up. Everything is great though, tough! But great.
One part of my life I’m still torn about. Don’t know if its my problem or not. But its the one part that kills my joy and gets me down. I’m not as confident as I pretend to be. I have so many freakn insecurities. I can never decide yet I make decisions daily, I guess never for myself myself…
Idk. I’m just hurting, yet I’m happy.
Hopefully someday, I know I’ll get there.

Looking back at my old things, I see that I haven’t changed that much. But I FEEL like I’ve gone through a lot of changes. I guess that’s a good thing?

=] I feel accomplished, content, complete and at peace. It’s nice not to feel that residue hurt. I’m hoping for a change of heart now ^_^ Maybe I can finally feel again. EEEE EXCITED!

PS. to self #iWin

;)

“suck it b!@tch” - that’s why we are best friends.